I’ve been to Israel four times now, with visits ranging from 2 weeks to six months. 3 of these visits have been since my official conversion to Judaism, yet each visit has demanded I take stock of my Jewish Identity. The trip to Israel usually begins with an integration at the airport. As I don’t look “traditionally Jewish”, I’m usually bombarded with more questions than the average traveler. My first trip to Israel I was so nervous, that I simply could not recall the last holiday we celebrated, despite the fact that Hanukkah had concluded just a few nights before. The airport scene usually goes something like this…
“Shalom, MaNeshma?”
“Besder”
“Something very quick in undecipherable Hebrew”
“…..English?”
“Oh, so, you don’t speak Hebrew.”
“No, just a little.”
“Why didn’t your parents teach you?”
“They don’t speak Hebrew.”
“Your parents are not Jewish?”
“…My Father is.”
“Oh, so you are not Jewish?”
“No. I am.”
A few years back, I learned of an unfortunate circumstance. A Jewish group at a medium sized college campus passed on an otherwise well qualified candidate for a rabbinical position because her spouse was not Jewish. Legal issues aside, I was horrified to hear of this. College students are in a time of flux, trying to decide who they are and want type of person they’d like to date. Sending a negative message about intermarriage– a voice of “YOU are the threat to Judaism” probably won’t sway a questioning individual away from a non-Jewish love. It will, however, send someone running far and fast away from organized Judaism. Judaism is comprised of people from all over the world, with different cultures, languages and history. There is no such thing as a “typical” Jewish household, so who is to say that an interfaith family can’t raise Jewish children or live a Jewish lifestyle? A Rabbi who made the choice to live Jewishly EVEN when married to someone of another faith is not something to shun, it is something to be celebrated and emulated.
My Jewish identity is not set in stone, nor do I think it should be. I enjoy grappling with definitions of Judaism, and the struggle to understand how my religion relates to the rest of my life is something I value. Yet, it upsets me that an airline employee, albeit an intimidating one, can invalidate my Judaism in a manner of seconds. As a product of (an extremely successful) interfaith family, I take attacks against intermarriage very personally. Nothing gets my goat more than a causal observer’s questioning of how I could POSSIBLY be Jewish without a Jewish mother. How can I possibly be Jewish? It’s quite simple: I find great beauty in a Temple, solace in the culture, a moral and ethic system in the texts and answers to life’s biggest questions through the Jewish religion. My parents raised me to appreciate all religions- and it was my decision to seek out Judaism and to live a Jewish life. Doesn’t that make me Jewish?
There’s an old joke about a father who told his son that no matter what he could not marry a non-Jew. Eventually, of course, the son married a wonderful women, who decided to convert to Judaism. The son and his new wife kept a kosher home, observed Shabbat and went to Temple weekly. They celebrated Jewish holidays, read books of Jewish philosophy, and sprinkled their conversations with Yiddish. Well, one day the father told his son that the family business was swamped, and that they both needed to come in on a Saturday to finish up some work. The son responded, “oy! I can’t do that! My wife won’t let me work on Shabbat!” To which the father replied, “Son… I TOLD you never to marry someone who wasn’t Jewish!”






